I have demons in me.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
