If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
