I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
