no, he came in my armpit
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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