I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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