She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
