I look better un-naked...
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
