I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
