next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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