Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
my sisters under your porch take her home
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
