ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
