You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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