There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
