it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
