her vagine was all disorganized.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
