let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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