You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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