the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
i now understand why vodka
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
