Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
