I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
