hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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