You really coming over, don't trick.
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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