i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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