Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I stole a fireplace last night.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
