i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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