Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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