I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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