the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
