Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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