1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
As shirtless as possible
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
