Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
This toilet bowl is my home.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
