I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
