I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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