all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
