do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
