dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Randomize
