theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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