I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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