therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
