no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
