somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
