No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
