I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
