Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
