dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
