textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
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