i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
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