LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
