why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
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