too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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